Great News Today: I’m NOT Immune to Hepatits B

I thought this story was suitable for a first post because it’s short, related to medicine, and kind of ridiculous. For the past several weeks, I’ve been going to my doctor’s office in order to fulfill all the immunization requirements that every matriculating medical student needs to complete. Yesterday I found out that my Hepatitis B antibody test came back negative. Great. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear with school starting in two weeks. I went back to the blood lab so that they could run the test again, a quantitative one this time. The thing is that if this test is also negative, I’ll have to do the whole 3 dose vaccination series for Hepatitis B all over again. Today I called the office to see if they had gotten the results from the quantitative test. This is the conversation I had with the secretary:

Me: Hi, this is NB and I just did the Hepatitis B antibody test yesterday at the lab. I was wondering if you guys got the results?

Overly excited secretary: Oh! We did get them back, and…great news! It says you have absolutely NO immunity to Hepatitis B! Yay! Congrats!

Me: …Wait what?

Overly excited secretary: You have no immunity!!!

Me: Wait, so you’re telling me I have NO immunity? Uhh…that’s…not a good thing….

Secretary: …Oh….I’m sorry….

picard-facepalm

As much as it sucks that I’ll have to redo the vaccinations, I can’t help but admit that her misunderstanding of the term “immunity” was the highlight of my day. The response she gave was definitely better than, “Oh. Yeah sorry, looks like you’re going to have to redo those vaccinations. When do you want to schedule your first dose?” At least with this secretary’s delivery, I got some chuckles out of it.

 

-NB

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6 comments

  1. Hey there NB, I just found out that I have to do the whole series of Hep B shots. I just had my first. Ugg! Your story was funny/not so funny! Tomorrow I am going to get a titer test for…you got it…chicken pox.

    1. Thanks for reading! I just got my first Hep B shot last week or so. I still need to plan out the other two and figure out where to take them during school. I hope you have immunity to chicken pox so you don’t need to get vaccinated!

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