Butt

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I’ve been dreading this day for years. While I was doing my master’s, I lived in an on-campus apartment that happened to have a bunch of medical students living in it too. The M2s would occasionally chat with us prospective med students about what they were learning that week and all the crazy things they did or saw. This one day, they told us about how they had to do the male and female genitalia exams:

M2: Yeah, and the worst part of it was that we had to do the exams on our classmates. I will never see them the same way again.

Me: Whoa, what? How is that allowed?

M2: I don’t know, it’s a horrible idea. We all had to sign a consent form before we started. There were doctors chaperoning us obviously but man it was so awkward

<< other M2s nod heads in shame and embarrassment >>

In retrospect, I’m sure they were just trolling us and actually used SPs, but the thought of having to do an exam where I would need to intrude on a stranger’s private parts still intimidated me.

Fast-forward a couple years. There I was, an M2 about to do the male genitalia exam on an SP. Yes, some random males of South Florida have volunteered their time, balls, and anuses, so that us medical students could have the experience of performing a proper male exam.

Four to five students were assigned a fake clinic room with a resident or two from Broward County. One of the residents then quickly showed us how the exam was done. We had to inspect the testicles and penis, check for hernias, and do a prostate exam. After they did an initial run-though, we all shuffled back outside and were called in one at a time to perform the exam solo with the patient and the residents.

I don’t think it was as awkward as it could have been. I really wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as possible but at the same time I knew that I better figure out how to do this correctly NOW so that I don’t look like a damn fool during rotations and/or residency when I’m asked to do it. The one part that weirded me out was checking for inguinal hernias. I didn’t know you could stick your finger all the way up in there. It seemed really painful but the SP didn’t say anything. He did flinch when I did the prostate exam though (sorry bro). All in all, the experience was good. The residents were really nice and helpful and gave me good feedback on things I did well on and things I can improve on.

Oh yeah, and apparently one of the SP’s told an M2 doing the exam to “spank him” after the exam was done. She refused but he kept insisting. I would have ran out of that room like Usain Bolt if my SP said that.

She did spank him in the end.

-NB

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