They say that every medical student will have at least one moment of self-doubt, one moment where they wonder if this is all going to pan out. I recently had one of these moments a couple days ago.
I had to push my board exam back, putting me at a disadvantage when it comes to my applications since now programs will not get my scores until after October 1st. To make matters even worse, I’ve essentially gotten rejected from my top choice program-one that I’m going to be auditioning at. I got in contact with the program and pleaded with them to reconsider. However the person I talked to told me that since they’re the only program for that specialty in the whole state, they get an extremely high volume of applicants and because of that they have to essentially pre-rank applicants based on COMLEX level I and level II (which I don’t have) alone. I get that it’s competitive but to not even give me a chance when I haven’t auditioned yet seems a little unfair. Plus, this ‘requirement’ is stated nowhere on their website or in any email correspondence I’ve had with them.
Now it’s too late to cancel and pull another audition rotation out of my ass, so I’m pretty much just stuck. I still need a Letter of Recommendation from that institution, so I do still need to work hard. But it’s extremely discouraging to be getting bad news so early in the cycle.
I used to wonder if some of my classmates had slipped through the cracks of the medical student selection process. How did some of these people get through the interview? But nowadays I find myself wondering if I am the one who doesn’t belong here. Lately I’ve been feeling like a fraud.
I really, really, really hope this all works out in the end.